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Everything posted by Uruk

  1. Uruk


    Sto se tice bubnjra i narednog albuma, rekoh nisam siguran da li je ono ziv bubanj ili ritam masina, a na kraju albuma u odjavnoj pesmici kazu: WE HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED THIS CROTHCDUSTER ALBUM WE HOPE THAT YOU LIKE SINGING ALONG RIGHT NOW WE’RE REALLY BUSY WORKING ON THE NEXT ONE THIS TIME WITH HELP FROM DOCTOR BRONZE pa cenim da je na ovom albumu bubanj bio progamiran a da ce im ovaj "doktor" svirati isti na sledecem, ako ga bude. Inace sta sam bend kaze o sebi, zaista bi trebalo da procitate urnebesno je, evo cu da copy/past-ujem: Albums: BIG FAT BOX OF SHIT Similar Artists: Crazy Larry and the Dead Ronaldos, Flippy the Pig, Suzy and the Nipple Hairs, Pimple, Holebox, Floor Machine, & Nakedface Musical Influences: Circus of Inginuity, Flap Jacksons Greatest Hits, Turn Around Bitch, The Ass Itchers, Facebox, Cockgoblin, Destructiconicus, Forever Ever in the Land of Never, Oh Yeah... The Suoer Shits Crotchduster exists for one reason and one reason only. Tax fraud. I know you were expecting something like "To put out the most bone crushing, devestatingly brutal music ever in the history of man" or, "To bring about an end to the lies of Christ with music spawned in the lowest depths of hell, and lyrics written for us by the goat lord himself." No, no. Thats just ridiculous and silly, and quite frankly beneath us. But hiding income from the government, well hot damn, thats a worthwhile persuit. How does our Ponzi scheme work ? I'll tell you (And by "you'' I mean "you, and thats it." You go blabbing this to anyone else, and by Lucifer's beard I swear I'll tell the guys in Black Witchery what you said about their sexual identity.). To grasp our financial secrets you have to know Williams. Williams is the only human (that we know of) capable of inter-dimensional travel. Like any good capitalist Williams used this ability for greed amd plunder. He found a dimension (The real name of it is unknown. Williams insists we call it Williamsburgland. He's sort of self important that way.) that at one time had been the pinnacle of advancement. This came to a screeching hault when they ran out of the one substance they use for everything. (Combine all the uses we have for water and petroleum, and you'll get an idea of the importance of this liquid to them.) This is a classic case of demand waiting for a supply. He told us (Crotchduster) of this opportunity, and at our urging he brought us back soil and air samples (He's not scientifically inclined like we are, the only reason he can travel inter-dimensionally is because he's got a PhD in dumptruck mechanics and he just blasted his way there.) From these we were able to reconstruct the cellular make-up of this mysterious liquid. I'd tell you what it is, but screw you, find your own dimension of people to exploit. Lets just say that one of the ingrediants is ground up goat teeth, and all their goats are extinct due to a shift in atmospheric pressure on account of the universe expanding the way it does. Now, here's the crux of the whole matter. We make this liquid (which we call Mammal Sauce) and we give it to Williams. Williams takes it (along with a dumptruck full of paying tourists) to Williamsburgland, and sells it for a price that would make you gag. He takes 50% of the profits, and deposits our 50% in an inter-dimensional account (the exchange rate between currencies is roughly even.) Beats the hell out of an off shore tax shelter. How the hell do you trace money across dimensions? You don't, thats how. So whenever we need some dough we just mix up a batch of Mammal Sauce, give Williams a couple withdrawl slips, and await his return.To keep ourselves busy we write music. The writing process for Crotchduster is very unique. See, inter-dimensional travel puts quite a strain on Williams' brain. It upsets his brain's chemical balance, screws with his central nervous system, and gives him temporary clairvoyance. In short, he goes stark raving mad.(Thats why we send Cain with him. Somebody's got to drive the truck while Williams is incapacitated. Plus, Cain writes down everything Williams says during these episodes. These mad ramblings later become Chrotchduster's lyrics.) So, our music has to be as crazy and disjointed as the lyrics. And, because of the temporary clairvoyance, every song we've ever written has fit perfectly with the lyrics we recieved upon Williams' return. The recording techniques we use are unique as well. We only use one mic, and our multitrack is 16 two track machines from 1957 synched together with a stopwatch and some telephone cord. Most of the music is written, performed, and recorded by Fornicus and Slippery Jim. Cain's expertise really shines through during the mixdown process. Being a dog allows Cain to hear into frequency ranges that we, as humans, cannot. Although we cant hear them, these frequencies have octaves that color the things we can hear. So, all we had to do was teach Cain how to use the console and all the outboard gear. So, to recap. Williams gets rich off our Mammal Sauce. We get rich off his ability to travel to other dimensions. We also get lyrics for Crotchduster. (which is nothing more than a cover for us to portray ourselves as "starving artists" so we can continue to claim the Earned Income Credit on our tax returns.) Nobody pays taxes on any of this money, and we save a dying dimension in the process. Beats the holy hell out of any other crappy ass reason for making music. Except pussy. Thats still the best reason ever.
  2. Uruk


    Sacuvao sam par stvari sa njihovog sajta dok je jos postojao, pa dale postava; Group Members: SLIPPERY JIM = VOX, DEVIASTATION, INVENTION FORNICUS "FUCKMOUTH" McFLAPPY = VOX, GUITARS, CREATION CAIN = DRUMS, BREATHING, RIPPING, BITING
  3. Slomio sam se da ovo nabavim, da mi drug nije skinuo sa neta ne zanm kako bih ovo nabavio. Imao sam Ambeon, koji sam nabavio pre tri godine, ali bölage nisam imao da to ima veze sa vim likom. Trenutno slusam The human Equation razbija!!! Kako zvuci oaj drugi bend Star one ili kako vec.
  4. Uruk


    Ja nisam siguran da li im je bubnjar covek ili ritam masina (imaju neke mnooogo brze keceve na pojedinim mestima koje ne verujem da je moguce osvirati). Inace tekstovi su vrh nevidjeni uvek se dobro nasmejem kad ih slusam, ovo u potpisu je deo teksta kad ide neki black deo.
  5. Uruk


    Imali su sajt ranije, ali su ga skinuli sa net-a.
  6. Crotchduster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vec dve godine kako slusam ovaj bend, tj nihov debi Big Fat box of shit i ovajh album nikako da me smori. Jeste da ne donosi nista novo, ali ovaj album uvek moze dobro da me nasmeje, a i sadrzi jedan sasvim fin presek metal scene. E sad ako se neko pita zasto ovu temu otvaram bas na ovom delu foruma, to je zbog toga sto imam utisak da ipak death/grind zvuk dominira ovim albumom. I jel zna neko sta se trenutno desava sa bendom (tj. kad ce novi album).
  7. Uruk


    Гледао сам их пре пар месеци овде у Чачку за Дисово пролеће. Развалили су, било је око 900 људи (или несто мало испод тог броја). Моје омолјене ствари од њих Име, Ко те виде, Чак и да могу ... Иначе мој друг је пар пута свираса њима и екстра су ликови
  8. Uruk


    пази поред горе наведених имам и Grace under pressure, Vapor trails и могу ти рећи да су ме као бенд одусевили тако да ћу ускоро набавити све албуме и концерте. Већ пола године се каним да набавим било ста од нјих али шта ћу кад сам ленчуга А жто се тиче прог-рока, пази кад се свиђа мојим родителјима који рок готобо да не слушају то значи да би ова музика имала добар пријем и код лјуди који су мејнтрим оријентисани а који су иоле зрелији (значи нису тинејджери који слушају шугави поп или ста већ), или код лјуди који воле добру музику а не слушаји обавезно рок или метал Што рече неки лик из неког пост рок бенда (за свој бенд) нису ни превисе лепи да би били мејнстим а ни првисе рузни да би били тр00
  9. Uruk


    Мени је друг који је луд ѕа Рашом нарезао пар албума уклјучујући о овај нови Snakes and Arrows и могу само рећи Најбише слушам Signals и Rolle the bones Само не контам ово да немају јаку базу фанова у насој землји. Мислим не схватам у чему је проблем кад Dreamovci имају гомилу фанова
  10. ...manje od 20 sati do koncerta Da se svi lepo sutra izdodirujemo znojavim telima i kao sto rece raven da smridimo jace nego na Kreatoru (na kome nazalost nisam bio ali sam cuo utiske)... EDIT: I da se lepo provedemooooooooooooo..............................(ne rade mi j****i smajlji)
  11. Slazem se ali na ovo dvoje dodaj Necrophagist, Origin,... Moji favoriti Bubanj-Pete Sandoval, deset mesta prazno pa Derrick Roddy Gitara-Pokojni Chuck, ili Tray Bas-Alex Webster Vokali-Chris Burnes ili Corpsegrinder obojica imaju stvarno jedinstvene vokale Da ne zaboravim na Nile, i jedan od mojih favorita Behemoth......
  12. Zatooooooo....... Ima toga, ali kao sto sam rekao dosta ljudi nema para, tj. stekaju ih za nesto drugo Marduk, nove palice, zice, Tool, ili se finansijski oporavljaju od pethodnih koncerata ili eksurzija. Medjutim cenim da ce biti ljudi bar koliko na proslom certu, doci ce dosta ljudi kojji nisku dosli prvi put...
  13. Svima je drago sto ima ovoliko koncerata, ali ipak ljudi nisu u mogucnosti da ih finansijski isprate, mislim na cenu ulaznice treba dodati cenu karte za bus, plus hrana tako da to izadje blizu 4000 din po koncertu, sto nije mala para tako da je 50% ljudi iz cacka zbog toga odustalo. Mislim ja ja sam ih gledao prvi put, gledacu ih i sad, ali da nisam (tudjom greskom) propusti Kreator ne zan da li bih sad isao. Najverovatnije bih,posle onakvog koncerta skupio bih pare nekako, ali tesko. Inace znam dosta ljudi koji bi Morbide i Canibale gledale drugi(treci) put pa makar sledeci koncert zakazali za sledeci dan...Jbg. Pa koliko je ulaznica prodato????
  14. 1.Dickinson 2.King Diamond 3.kako-god-da-se-zove-pevac Queensrycha
  15. Chuck Billy-kao sto neko rece dobro,rezi, grovla, dobar clean Beladona - najbolji trash clean Mustaine-peva mnogo bolje od Hetfielda a uz to je i bolji gitarista od Kirka, i fenomenalan je tekstopisac Mile-legeeeeeeeeeendaaaaaaaa, a ni Smier ne zaostaje Phil Anselmo- leeegenda broj 2
  16. Bilo nekih Mp-3ki (mislim Nightwish, Metallica,Slayer,Hammerfall, i sl),ali nisam siguran. Prvi pirat Iron Maiden-Edvard The Great(bez omota, sa prvom pesmom Aces High umesto 2 minutes...). Prvi original Pantera-Cowboys from Hell...
  17. Chuck Schuldinera definitivno!!!! A zatim bih prozdrao i ispovracao celu NWOAHM scenu...
  18. Uruk


    Dajte da cujemo kako je bilo, posto neki slepci kao ja nazalost nisu otisli na koncert.
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