Grobodan

Dojajno je meni ovo, presmešan stil, i iako obožavam Skyforger nemam ništa protiv ove recenzije

Aha, idi na sajt, juri komercijalne bendove, ja sam čitao i smejao se sat vremena :)

Smorila me Horna još pre 3 albuma, na početku su bili bolji daleko. Ne verujem ni da ću skinuti ovo... možda jednom.

Ma daj, ovaj lik je neki pljuvač, smešne su mu recenzije, pročitaj tek ove 2 za koje sam ostavio linkove

I’d never heard DRAGONFORCE before and didn’t think I’d be the best person to review their material as other staff members were already well acquainted with the band and their music. When I asked if they’d be interested in reviewing their latest full length offering ULTRA BEATDOWN reactions ranged from “if you make me review that fucking band I quit” to “if you make me listen to that fucking band I will go to your house with an axe and cut your hands off and feed them to you.” Based on their reactions you’d think I asked them to give me a prostate examination with a gloveless finger while giving me a reach around. I knew then what must be done; I’d have to man up and review it myself. ULTRA BEATDOWN opens with "Heroes Of Our Time" which bursts forth like a rave at a gay bar filled with men draped in feather boas, cutoff jean shorts and construction boots parading about like they’re trying out for a part in Fame. The music is a swirling whirlwind of flaming technical riffing, 80s hair metal singing and what sounds like the keyboardist who performed on EUROPE’s "The Final Countdown". The eight tracks on ULTRA BEATDOWN are marathons, clocking in at an average length of seven and a half minutes for each song. The best way to describe their music would be to take the absolute cheesiest aspects of 80s hair metal, speed it up, add some keyboards and high pitched 80s hair metal vocals while a group of the most effeminate men imaginable perform a circle jerk around DRAGONFORCE as they shred away at their instruments. I’ve heard some ridiculous over-the-top shit in my 25 years of listening to metal, and I’ve seen some ridiculous over-the-top shit in my 5 years working in the porn industry, but DRAGONFORCE’s ULTRA BEATDOWN is by far the most flamboyantly gay thing I have ever experienced in my life. Watching George Michael, Rob Halford, Elton John, Lance Bass, Boy George and Liberace in a bareback leather orgy where each man shoves fireworks up his urethra and anus and sets them alight for a bright sparkling climax would only be half as gay as this. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against homosexuals, if you’d rather have some effeminate guy named Steve to shove his dick in your ass so you can poop funny and bleed from your ass for a week than to stick your dick in a warm inviting vagina then that’s great! Jack off all over each others’ faces, jam your fists up each others ass while reciting Shakespeare and dressing up like giant hideous Vegas showgirls, just really go all out with it. The point I’m trying to make is this; if you love vagina and boobs and ever hope to have a girl let you touch either one of them then you should absolutely not listen to DRAGONFORCE. Listening to DRAGONFORCE is the first step to admitting to the world that you would rather visit an NBA locker room so 7 foot tall behemoths can park their cocks in your ass than to go to the Playboy mansion and have an orgy with all of the Playmates from the last 5 years. Just wearing a DRAGONFORCE t-shirt sends a clear message to all women and men who see it, the message isn’t “Hey, I’m a DRAGONFORCE fan.” the message reads more like a giant arrow on your chest pointing towards your mouth that reads “INSERT COCK HERE!” with another arrow on the back pointing down towards your ass with another message that reads “INSERT COCK HERE!” I know there are DRAGONFORCE fans out there who will get upset and offended by the things I say. They’ll say dumb shit like I don’t know what good metal is and that I can’t appreciate the technical complexity of DRAGONFORCE and their music. I’ll admit, the members of DRAGONFORCE are excellent musicians, they show a great deal of talent and technique, however… the music of DRAGONFORCE is much like a big budget movie. It’s like taking action movie icon Arnold Schwarzenegger of Predator, Terminator and Conan, sticking him in a movie with Oscar winner George Clooney, Oscar nominee Uma Thurman and Vivica A. Fox… can you imagine how brilliant that could be? Wow… surrounding Schwarzenegger with real acting talents?!?! Then make it a Batman movie. Holy shit! The potential awesomeness is making my dick hard and my brain malfunction. You get hyped for it, waiting for months for it to be released and then finally it hits the screen; Batman & Robin starring multiple Oscar award winners and nominees, a cast overflowing with talent and… it’s a huge steaming pile of shit! That’s DRAGONFORCE. The bottom line is, if you like DRAGONFORCE never admit it to anyone. Ever. You’d get a much better reaction from people if you were to tell them you were a serial dog fucker with a fetish for smearing dog shit on your face and are physically unable to stop yourself from grinding your cock inside every animal you see without a leash. I need to turn this fucking CD off before I do something regrettable like smearing peanut butter all over my balls and inviting the neighbor’s dog over for a visit. This album is fucking awful, if you like this band do yourself a favor and try jerking off into your own mouth on your front porch instead of listening to their music, it’ll be much less embarrassing than having someone find out you actually like this stupid band. Najbolja recenzija koju sam ikad video, ne mogu da dođem sebi :) :)

What the fuck happened to AMORPHIS? The last time I bothered listening to an AMORPHIS album was TALES FROM THE THOUSAND LAKES way back in ‘94. Prior to that album AMORPHIS was a killer death metal act, releasing two notable releases; the 1992 full length effort THE KARELIAN ISTHMUS and the follow-up 1993 EP PRIVILEGE OF EVIL. Those first two albums are pretty much mandatory listens for all fans of old school Scandinavian death metal and while TALES FROM THE THOUSAND LAKES was okay, it just lacked the grittiness of their earlier material and I quickly lost interest when I found out the band was straying even further from their original sound on subsequent releases. 2009’s SKYFORGER is not the AMORPHIS I remember. The band still contains three members from the original line-up, guitarists Tomi Koivusaari and Esa Holopainen and drummer Jan Rechberger, but the music they create today, along with keyboardist Santeri Kallio, bassist Niclas Etelävuori and vocalist Tomi Joutsen is just… fucking… fruity! Laughably so. SKYFORGER is 10 tracks of folk rock “metal” with a ridiculously overproduced sound, sissified riffs and some of the funniest vocals I’ve ever heard. One listen to Joutsen speak-singing on the second track, “Silver Bride”, with a thick Finnish accent and I’m on the floor gasping for air with snot streaming out of my nose and tears running down my rosy red cheeks I’m laughing so fucking hard. I’ve honestly had farts heavier than the meatiest riff contained on SKYFORGER. Jesus fucking Christ, who ass-fucked the manliness out of AMORPHIS? Were they all gang raped by a band of traveling folk singers? The song writing is so fucking corny it could easily be used as the soundtrack for some cheesy kids anime movie, with the fruity keyboards, tardtastic vocals and hilarious “emotional” lyrics. Here’s a sample from the track “My Sun”: Her hair I would long to adorn With glowing stars Her brow with shining sun In silver I would trace The moonshine of her grace The shining one HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Are you fucking serious?!?!?! I’ve read better, and less flowery, poetry written by eight year old girls about their Barbie dolls. In all seriousness and honesty, listening to POISON’s LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN in a gay bar while getting blown and assfucked at the same time is a manlier endeavor than listening to SKYFORGER. Hell, even a reach around by GEORGE MICHAEL while he grunts “I want your sex.” into your ear in a public toilet is manlier. Obviously, AMORPHIS have developed a pretty strong fan base since abandoning their death metal roots more than a decade ago, and I’m sure they’re all very content with their career choice to become pop stars instead of playing metal, but I would stab myself in the face with a rusty pair of scissors if I was forced to listen to this garbage ever again. I hope their tour bus gets hit by a falling plane. If you really like this shit, you should listen to CLAY AIKEN, his singing is like brutal death metal gurgles compared to this shit. I need to turn this shit off before I start getting the urge to starting pitching to men… or worse yet, catching! I don’t want a leathery asshole! odlično! A kad ste već tu, pročitajte i ove recenzije: http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/deathst...telectricnight/ http://www.teufelstomb.com/reviews/wykkedw...sofadyingwhore/ :) :)

Zove me sestra "imala sam kartu za večeras, mislila sad da imaš pa sam poklonila ortaku". Roknuću se

Klasična američka seljačina.

Sad je bilo na Dnevniku 3 javljanje sa Exita, izgleda da Prodigy sabija

Ja sad prvi put video, nije mi dobro od smeha :)

Sad gledam na RTSovom sajtu program, izgleda da ne sranje. Mada, pratiće se.

Evo devojke, novi Anal Nakurac na 320kbps. Sad možemo da uživamo kao ljudi i da konačno sjebemo ono malo mozga što je ostalo.

Nisi ti, Tuki je

Ostali, znate šta ćete da radite?

Ne tako nego "pomračenje u noći", malo obrni reči i dobićeš pravi smisao.

Jedan od najdosadnijih koncerata na kojim sam ikad bio

OK, kad se malo oporavim od koncertne nedelje poslaću ti pare, dogovorićemo se.

+1

Kako se zvao onaj lik što je dan posle koncerta Mejdena prodavao iskorišćenu kartu za isti? :)

Sve živa istina, ja došao u fazonu - da vidim kad je već tu i na kraju umalo ne zakasnih na Brajde. Boli me za Korn, ali za dobru svirku skidam kapu.

Ja kapiram sad da kad jedni brain deadovi odu sa foruma, drugi dođu, nikad ne oskudevamo u debilizmima.

Ima li Amorphisa novog po nekoj pristojnoj ceni?

Kako niste čuli za to, ja sam to čitao na brdo mesta, čak je bilo i u Rock Expressu, u fazonu - nisu hteli ime tipa Autopsy i Slayer već nešto mističnije.

Specijalno će Sabaton da prenose :) Ja se nadam da će da puste The Prodigy noćas...

Slipknot šou je bio bolji, ali Korn je sabio zvukom, ono stvarno retko može da se čuje, ja nisam mogao da verujem.