Crotchduster

[Uruk]

Crotchduster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vec dve godine kako slusam ovaj bend, tj nihov debi Big Fat box of shit i ovajh album nikako da me smori. Jeste da ne donosi nista novo, ali ovaj album uvek moze dobro da me nasmeje, a i sadrzi jedan sasvim fin presek metal scene. E sad ako se neko pita zasto ovu temu otvaram bas na ovom delu foruma, to je zbog toga sto imam utisak da ipak death/grind zvuk dominira ovim albumom. I jel zna neko sta se trenutno desava sa bendom (tj. kad ce novi album).

[Vuk]

imash ih na spejsu, ali ih zabole da azuriraju

[Uruk]

Imali su sajt ranije, ali su ga skinuli sa net-a.

[Zen]

Odlican bend!

 

Tekstovi su hit, bubanjara :) za preCednika

[Uruk]

Ja nisam siguran da li im je bubnjar covek ili ritam masina (imaju neke mnooogo brze keceve na pojedinim mestima koje ne verujem da je moguce osvirati).

Inace tekstovi su vrh nevidjeni uvek se dobro nasmejem kad ih slusam, ovo u potpisu je deo teksta kad ide neki black deo.

[Zen]

Da, ali kao bubnjara potpisuju kera, Kain valjda ili tako nesto

[WIZARD OF GORE]

bubnjar je najjaci lik a i taj album je mnogo dobar, prepun dobre zajebavancije

[Uruk]

Sacuvao sam par stvari sa njihovog sajta dok je jos postojao, pa dale postava;

Group Members:

SLIPPERY JIM = VOX, DEVIASTATION, INVENTION

FORNICUS "FUCKMOUTH" McFLAPPY = VOX, GUITARS, CREATION

CAIN = DRUMS, BREATHING, RIPPING, BITING

[lemmy sixx]

Nikad nisam cuo ovo govno,i zasigurno i necu.

[WIZARD OF GORE]

otkud znas da je govno ako nikad nisi slusao???

[Apeiron]

Nikad nisam cuo ovo govno,i zasigurno i necu.

Ma gde govno, u pitanju je vrhunska zajebancija, i bend kakav ne mozes ni da zamislis

 

Savrsen debi, demonstracija naslusanosti i kvaliteta muzicara, koji da hoce, izgleda da mogu svirati sve moguce i nemoguce zanrove na planeti zemlji.

 

Ja pomislih novi album izasao kad je tema izletela, na zalost ovde jos uvek prica o prvom... Mada, sta je uopste moguce da snime na drugom nakon onakvog debija?

[kuruz]

Ха, слушао сам ово још пре три године, а сад сте ме подсетили да преслушам поново! Генијалци, невиђен албум...

[Uruk]

Sto se tice bubnjra i narednog albuma, rekoh nisam siguran da li je ono ziv bubanj ili ritam masina, a na kraju albuma u odjavnoj pesmici kazu:

WE HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED THIS

CROTHCDUSTER ALBUM

WE HOPE THAT YOU LIKE SINGING ALONG

RIGHT NOW WE’RE REALLY BUSY

WORKING ON THE NEXT ONE

THIS TIME WITH HELP FROM DOCTOR BRONZE

pa cenim da je na ovom albumu bubanj bio progamiran a da ce im ovaj "doktor" svirati isti na sledecem, ako ga bude. Inace sta sam bend kaze o sebi, zaista bi trebalo da procitate urnebesno je, evo cu da copy/past-ujem:

Albums: BIG FAT BOX OF SHIT

 

Similar Artists: Crazy Larry and the Dead Ronaldos, Flippy the Pig, Suzy and the Nipple Hairs, Pimple, Holebox, Floor Machine, & Nakedface

 

Musical Influences: Circus of Inginuity, Flap Jacksons Greatest Hits, Turn Around Bitch, The Ass Itchers, Facebox, Cockgoblin, Destructiconicus, Forever Ever in the Land of Never, Oh Yeah... The Suoer Shits

 

Crotchduster exists for one reason and one reason only. Tax fraud. I know you were expecting something like "To put out the most bone crushing, devestatingly brutal music ever in the history of man" or, "To bring about an end to the lies of Christ with music spawned in the lowest depths of hell, and lyrics written for us by the goat lord himself." No, no. Thats just ridiculous and silly, and quite frankly beneath us. But hiding income from the government, well hot damn, thats a worthwhile persuit. How does our Ponzi scheme work ? I'll tell you (And by "you'' I mean "you, and thats it." You go blabbing this to anyone else, and by Lucifer's beard I swear I'll tell the guys in Black Witchery what you said about their sexual identity.). To grasp our financial secrets you have to know Williams. Williams is the only human (that we know of) capable of inter-dimensional travel. Like any good capitalist Williams used this ability for greed amd plunder. He found a dimension (The real name of it is unknown. Williams insists we call it Williamsburgland. He's sort of self important that way.) that at one time had been the pinnacle of advancement. This came to a screeching hault when they ran out of the one substance they use for everything. (Combine all the uses we have for water and petroleum, and you'll get an idea of the importance of this liquid to them.) This is a classic case of demand waiting for a supply. He told us (Crotchduster) of this opportunity, and at our urging he brought us back soil and air samples (He's not scientifically inclined like we are, the only reason he can travel inter-dimensionally is because he's got a PhD in dumptruck mechanics and he just blasted his way there.) From these we were able to reconstruct the cellular make-up of this mysterious liquid. I'd tell you what it is, but screw you, find your own dimension of people to exploit. Lets just say that one of the ingrediants is ground up goat teeth, and all their goats are extinct due to a shift in atmospheric pressure on account of the universe expanding the way it does. Now, here's the crux of the whole matter. We make this liquid (which we call Mammal Sauce) and we give it to Williams. Williams takes it (along with a dumptruck full of paying tourists) to Williamsburgland, and sells it for a price that would make you gag. He takes 50% of the profits, and deposits our 50% in an inter-dimensional account (the exchange rate between currencies is roughly even.) Beats the hell out of an off shore tax shelter. How the hell do you trace money across dimensions? You don't, thats how. So whenever we need some dough we just mix up a batch of Mammal Sauce, give Williams a couple withdrawl slips, and await his return.To keep ourselves busy we write music. The writing process for Crotchduster is very unique. See, inter-dimensional travel puts quite a strain on Williams' brain. It upsets his brain's chemical balance, screws with his central nervous system, and gives him temporary clairvoyance. In short, he goes stark raving mad.(Thats why we send Cain with him. Somebody's got to drive the truck while Williams is incapacitated. Plus, Cain writes down everything Williams says during these episodes. These mad ramblings later become Chrotchduster's lyrics.) So, our music has to be as crazy and disjointed as the lyrics. And, because of the temporary clairvoyance, every song we've ever written has fit perfectly with the lyrics we recieved upon Williams' return. The recording techniques we use are unique as well. We only use one mic, and our multitrack is 16 two track machines from 1957 synched together with a stopwatch and some telephone cord. Most of the music is written, performed, and recorded by Fornicus and Slippery Jim. Cain's expertise really shines through during the mixdown process. Being a dog allows Cain to hear into frequency ranges that we, as humans, cannot. Although we cant hear them, these frequencies have octaves that color the things we can hear. So, all we had to do was teach Cain how to use the console and all the outboard gear. So, to recap. Williams gets rich off our Mammal Sauce. We get rich off his ability to travel to other dimensions. We also get lyrics for Crotchduster. (which is nothing more than a cover for us to portray ourselves as "starving artists" so we can continue to claim the Earned Income Credit on our tax returns.) Nobody pays taxes on any of this money, and we save a dying dimension in the process. Beats the holy hell out of any other crappy ass reason for making music. Except pussy. Thats still the best reason ever.

[Uruk]

Their next album is slated for release sometime this year.

 

:veseli:

konacno

 

valjda nije ispala

[KazimKazim]

 

Kako mocan cover, pogotovo ovo sto je u prvom planu 

 

 

[Uruk]

[KazimKazim]

A to im je taj bubnjar, za miks pultom?!

[Uruk]

hahahah

 

bend Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind izgleda zaista postoji

 

pominju se u pesmi Crotchcopus ali ja sam mislio da je to sprdnja sa black metal bendovima in general kad ono tamo medjutim :)

 

evo njihove majspejs stranice

 

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea...iendID=19026374

[Жвакић]

Дајте линкове за скидање албума! Ово ми је ортак спомињао раније, али несам успео да их нађем.

[Uruk]

http://rapidshare.com/files/92758021/Crotchduster-BigFatBoxOfShit-2004.rar

 

 

:)

 

 

[KazimKazim]

Ova slika sa google-om polako postaje legendarna 

Edited December 28, 2008 by KazimKazim