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tema za pedere i dukatlije (random)


KRANG

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dakle.. najbolji letter of the month ubedljivo.. icon_smile.gif

 

a long request for a straight answer

 

Dear Terrorizer,

 

How art thou? I have a very simple question to ask, but unfortunately this particular question requires half my life story, so here goes!

 

I live in the west of Ireland and I grew up listening to metal. In my younger years I only bought Metal Hammer and Kerrang!, Terrorizer was hard to find and even if you could find it we considered it a lunatic magazine! However, as I grown older (I'm 29) I've found myself abandoning the others in favour of yours truly. I'm convinced that if I'm going to find any decent kind of new mental music I'll find it in Terrorizer.

 

Now, contrary to popular belief the music scene in Ireland absolutely and completely sucks big off giant megalithic stone age donkey balls. The metal scene here is so far underground you need a miner's helmet to find it, but although I'm part of it, the lack of venues and a 90 per cent redneck population ensures that any progress will be snail-like.

 

So where the fuck am I going with this? Terrorizer is my only guide to what's happening in the world concerning metal, without it, basically I'd be fucked. I like my dark/doom/goth/drone etc, as much as the next human time-bomb and was surprised to see the new SunnO))) album on the shelves and I bought it right away based on your reviews. Imagine my surprise/horror when I put it on and heard the absolute spazz-magnet that spewed forth from my speakers! I had to read the review again I was so confused and I was gonna write in and complain, much like I'm doing now, but I said, no, no Paddy, don't be a cunt, don't be like them other wee bastards who write in and complain every time they don't agree with something, so I didn't.

 

Then, I bought Khanate's new release, again based on your review and lo and behold another complete and utter pile of cock poo. I'm not saying your reviews were wrong, I'm not saying I disagree with your revies, your reviews were spot-fucking-on, but what fucks me off is the things you don't say, the things you casually fail to mention. For instance, if you'd ended the SunnO))) review with the "P.S. There are no fucking drums on this album whatsoever, and fuck all much else," I wouldn't have wasted twenty quid on it. If you'd ended the Khanate review with, "It's the same fucking child-like riff for half a cunting hour," again I could have wasted my cash on something else, drink/drugs/porn, etc.

That SunnO))) album is taking the piss, your review for that was like trying to sell a car but failing to mention that the car has no wheels. Just tell the whole story, whether it affects album sales or not, 'cos obviously it does. I wonder how many other people bought those albums after reading your reviews and ended up vomiting all over themselves?

 

So finally I'll get to my poxy question. Based on your reviews, I WAS going to buy the new Earth album, 'Hex...'. Now, in plain fucking English, is it the same bastard riff over and over again with little or no variation? I don't care how surreal it is, how cool or dark, I don't want to know what it "feels like to have a glacier slide over" me or what it feels like to be "trapped under a gradually cooling lava flow". For fuck's sake!!! IS IT A PILE OF SHIT OR NOT?!! 'Cos if I waste another jobbyfest like the last two, I will kill myself and anyone else within a 35-yard radius! Jesus, yez work in a music magazine it shouldn't be too difficult. Thank Christ for the free CD!

Paddy The Cunt, Donegalway, via email

 

 

(odgovor redakcije)

Some might say that the Earth album could have been recorded by a depressed, dribbling village idiot with a memory span of five seconds for all the variation in the riffs played at a rate that would make a Sufi weep with boredom. But we reckon it's an equilibrium-inducing, edge-of-the-world-evoking elegy that feels like having the back of your retina burned away by the last ever sunset. On balance, I reckon you'll love it.

 

genijalno icon_smile.gificon_smile.gif

Edited by slowdiver

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So finally I'll get to my poxy question. Based on your reviews, I WAS going to buy the new Earth album, 'Hex...'. Now, in plain fucking English, is it the same bastard riff over and over again with little or no variation? I don't care how surreal it is, how cool or dark, I don't want to know what it "feels like to have a glacier slide over" me or what it feels like to be "trapped under a gradually cooling lava flow". For fuck's sake!!! IS IT A PILE OF SHIT OR NOT?!! 'Cos if I waste another jobbyfest like the last two, I will kill myself and anyone else within a 35-yard radius!

 

ovim delom sam najdeblje odusevljen (logicno, ko ne bi bio?)

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šta da vam kažem... (?)

 

makar je tamo brz net jeftin.

meni recenzija nepoznatog albuma služi samo kao vodič za download.

tek ako valja, onda se i kupuje.

 

ajde, kao da je 1987, pa treba da šalje pismo da proveri da li stvarno misle da je neki tamo earth album dobar ili ne.

mentol. i treba da ga jebu.

 

mada je smešno.

cool post slo-d.

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ali ono... to je kul za nas metalce jer se ne moras smarati pricom o dokumentarcima o smithsima vec mozes biti kul u drustvu pricajuci o bendovima koje si slusao kad su ti pocinjale rasti dlake pod miskom jer su oni (ponovo) kul icon_smile.gif

 

(mada je i to meni sranje jer u indjiji nema hipstera sad.gif)

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iz prve ruke potvrdjujem da hipsteri vole black metal u new yorku.

 

pricao mi ortak keegan da je bio na darkthrone-u, i bilo puno onih screamo klinaca koji rade onaj kung fu mosh u sredini, i brdo hipstera sa tesnim pantolonama, shtraftastim dzemperima i fauxhawk frizura.

 

bio neki black metal band predgrupa za sunn i the growing ono kad nisam otisao..i kazu ljudi da se se hipster tad najvise przili.

 

samo jos jeftini prog 90's da postane kul pa da nabavim onu sanvoisen majcu koju sam uvek zeleo da imam.

 

 

kent: hammerfall je rasprodao BB Kings u manhattanu za par dana.

 

"They told me I was templar of steel, I don't think anyone has ever said that to me before." - moj buraz.

 

ali oni su vise funny cool nego cool cool.

Edited by azal

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Istina... BM je bas postao popularan u US u poslednjih godinu dve dana.

 

At this point, what is your overall opinion of the current black metal audience?

 

Silenoz: "There are a lot of 16- and 17-year-old kids that show up and try to tell other bands how to play black metal. It's like, 'Hello? Where were you ten years ago?' (laughs). There's a lot of that, 'I know better than you' mentality, so to speak. I don't even want to fucking think about that stuff."

 

I fora je da noviji bendovi nose majce Venom, Mayhem isl.

Strava... icon_smile.gif

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jep, ali na pitchforku i drugim hip mestima nema jos uvek recenzija sonate, nocturnal ritesa ili freedom calla sad.gif

 

kad prog postane kul, uzimam da preslusam onaj kvlt disk koji mi je laki ostavio pre 15 godina icon_smile.gif komp mi se skucao kad sam probao da ga ubacim jednom

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