Sit On My Face
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you moralise
When I'm between your thighs.
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we're both 69
If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play
Till we're blown away.
Never Be Rude to an Arab
Never be rude to an Arab,
An Israeli or Saudi or Jew.
Never be rude to an Irishman
No matter what you do.
Never pull fun at a nigger,
A spic or a wop or a kraut,
And never poke fun at a-- [bOOM!]
(later)
Never be rude to a polack-- [bOOM!]
Bruces' Philosophers Song
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could take you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietszche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink; therefore, I am!'
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed.
I'm the Urban Spaceman
I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I've got speed.
I've got everything I need.
I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I can fly.
I'm a supersonic guy.
I don't need pleasure, I don't feel pain.
If you were to knock me down, I'd just get up again.
I'm the urban spaceman, baby, I'm making out
I'm all about
I wake up every morning with a smile upon my face.
My natural exuberance spills out all over the place.
I'm the urban spaceman, I'm intelligent and clean.
Know what I mean?
I'm the urban spaceman, as a lover, second to none.
It's a lot of fun.
I never let my friends down, I could have made a boob.
I'm a glossy magazine, an advert on the tube.
I'm the urban spaceman, baby, here comes the twist.
I don't exist.
Idiot Song
How sweet to be an idiot,
As harmless as a cloud,
Too small to hide the sun,
Almost poking fun
At the warm but insecure untidy crowd.
How sweet to be an idiot,
And dip my brain in joy,
Children laughing at my back,
With no fear of attack,
As much retaliation as a toy.
How sweet to be an idiot.
How sweet.
I tiptoe down the street,
Smile at everyone I meet,
But suddenly a scream
Smashes through my dream,
Fee-fi-fo-fum,
I smell blood of an asylum.
Hey you!
You're such a pedant;
You've got as much brain as a dead ant,
As much imagination as a caravan site,
But I still love you--
Still love you.
How sweet to be an idiot.
How sweet.
How sweet.
How sweet...
Lumberjack Song
Lumberjack:
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
Choir & Girl:
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping,
and have buttered scones for tea.
Choir:
He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
And has buttered scones for tea.
Lumberjack:
[in unison with Choir]
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
Choir:
[in unison with Lumberjack]
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.
Choir:
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing,
And hangs around in bars?
Lumberjack:
[in unison with Choir]
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
Choir & Girl:
[in unison with Lumberjack]
He's a lumberjack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Lumberjack:
I cut down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear papa.
Choir:
He cuts down trees, he wears high heels,
Suspenders and a bra?
Mountie (John Cleese):
What kind of goddam pervert are you, you lousy commie fairy faggot...?!
All except Girl:
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK!
Definitivno su pesme genijalne imam ga na dvx-u ali je snimak malo loš.