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Guest HEFEST

Šta je brending?

 

To je kad na after-vork partiju, najčešće posle ležernije nuvo kuzine, u nekom trendi-fensi kafiću, korporejt menadžer naloži svom najboljem hed-hanteru da na tim-bildingu izabere nekoliko mladih advertajzera, kopirajtera, marketing frikova, opinion-mejkera i trendsetera, koji će nakon striminga na kriejtiv-mitingu među sobom odabrati tim-menadžera, i na višednevnom brein-stormingu, ako treba i preko onlajn-konferensa, tek uz kratke kofi-brejkove i lagani finger-fud, od nekog imena napraviti takav autentični trejd-mark.

:mhihi:

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Guest HEFEST

A husband comes home from work on Friday and says to his wife "you got three choices and have to chose one. You can go camping with me this weekend, give me a blowjob, or get fucked up the ass".

Wife thinks and replies: "I hate camping with you. Getting fucked up the ass hurts. So I will give you a blowjob". Hubby says:"Great!" and drops his pants. His wife starts blowing him. About 20 seconds after she stops, looks up at him and says: "Your dick tastes like dog shit!". He replies: "Well, honey, you see, our dog didn't want to go camping either".

 

 

 

 

Three old women are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

 

One seventy-five year old woman says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."

 

An eighty year old woman says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

 

The ninety year old woman says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow."

 

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

 

"I don't wake up until nine.

 

 

 

 

My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something i must confess."

"Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright."

"No i must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"

"I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!!

 

 

 

 

Na ispitu iz anatomije na Medicinskom fakultetu u Beogradu jedna devojka je dobila "penis" kao ispitno pitanje:

- Penis je muski polni organ u cijoj se sredini nalazi koska. Dugacak je trideset santimetara... itd.

Profesor, posto je devojka zavrsila svoj odgovor:

- Koleginice, niste lose znali..., ali za onu kosku, to Vam se ucinilo, a za onih trideset santimetara, to ste imali srece...

 

 

 

Evo malo englesko-srpskih jezickih varijacija

 

NASELJENA MESTA = ONVILLAGED PLACES

 

1.Forescratch = Zagreb

2.Wart = Pristina

3.Sarah Is An Ox = Sarajevo

4.Wolfcook = Vukovar

5.Runaway Hair = Bezanijska Kosa

6.Oh Yes Gypsy Fox = Ada Ciganlija

7.Little Wet Grove = Mali Mokri Lug

8.To-Grandfather-her =Dedinje

9.Little Bad City = Mali Losinj

10.New Now (New USA) = Novi Sad

11.New Market = Novi Pazar

12.New Winevalley = Novi Vinodol

13.Cockadoodledoo Hill =D Petlovo Brdo

14.Julia's Heights = Julino Brdo

15.Grass City = Travnik

16.Lower River City = Donja Rekavica

17.White Brook = Beli Potok

18.Black Grass = Crna Trava

19.Naked Island = Goli Otok

20.Castration City (Withspear City) = Skoplje

21.Saturday City = Subotica

22.Port Resort (Spa Harbor) = Banja Luka

23.Notmind City = Neum

 

 

ZEMLJE = GROUNDS

 

1.Slantox = Kosovo

2.No Cat = Nemacka

3.And That Fox = Italija

 

PLANINE = PLAN AND NOT

1.Mt. Nick-Was-Digging = Kopaonik

2.Mt. Noise-Oils = Bukulja

3.Mt. I-Chorus-and-on = Jahorina

4.Mt. Damned-and-is = Prokletije

5.Mt. He-was-Like-an-Ox = Biokovo

6.Mt. Flat = Ravna Gora

 

LICNOSTI = IMAGINESSES

 

1.No Yes Stolen = Neda Ukraden

2.Yes To Little Cannon = Dado Topic

3.Hope (Onyes) Big Cannon = Nada Topcagic

4.Government and Fairy-tale=Vlada i Bajka

5.Little Rose Little Juice = Ruzica Sokic

6.Edge Except = Ivica Osim

7.Happy Account = Radoje Kontic

8.Freeman Gentlefuck = Slobodan Milosevic

9.But I And Brother-In-Law Escape = Alija Izetbegovic

10.Dick Droolfucker = Djoka Balasevic

11.Wishwho Ribswhat = Zeljko Rebraca

12.Goverments Giant = Vlade Divac

13.Sparkwho Dogburn = Zarko Paspalj

14.Stinghorn = Bodiroga

15.Overdear Dayandhunt = Predrag Danilovic

Edited by HEFEST
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