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Humor (bez YUTUB linkova!)


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Defence Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

 

Little Old Lady:

I am 94 years old.

 

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

 

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

 

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

 

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

 

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

 

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

 

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

 

Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.

 

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

 

Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

 

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

 

Little Old Lady:

He began to rub my breasts.

 

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

 

Little Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.

 

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

 

Little Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

 

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

 

Little Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him

'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

 

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

 

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard

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A local radio station is having a contest: the first person to call in with an English word the DJ has never heard of will win $1000.

 

So this guy calls in and when asked for the word, he says, "Goan...G-O-A-N…Goan."

 

The DJ thinks for a moment and says, "That’s not even a real word!"

 

"Sure it is," argues the caller.

 

"Well then use it in a sentence," says the DJ.

 

The caller replies "Goan f#ck yourself!"

 

The DJ quickly hangs up.

 

About 30 minutes and many calls later, no one has won the contest and the DJ answers yet another call.

 

When asked, the caller says, "Smee...S-M-E-E...Smee."

 

The DJ shakes his head and says, "I don't think that's real word. Can you please use that in a sentence caller?"

 

To which the caller responds, "Smee again......Goan fuck yourself!

Edited by Srlandand
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