КЈО Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Ау јбт! Хахаахах Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrija Smith Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Kakav glupan jbt toliko je providno da je skocio zbog money money money Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Interesantan je um koji pomisli-okej,sad cu da se obogaljim trajno,ali cu da zaradim! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
КЈО Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Боли га ђаки. Елем, то је било 2004. године? Има ли неко информацију да ли је заиста узео паре? Ахахахахах Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Man Walking Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Nemam pojma, iskopao sam to negde na kompu. Ko zna otkad mi tu stoji... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josif Visarionovič Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Ne znam samo odakle ce cunami da ga zaspe.Iz Nishave mozda? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Ma jok,iz Makedonskog mora Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandman Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Nazhalost,ovo je u 90% sluchajeva istina. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukijan Mušicki Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Ma jok,iz Makedonskog mora panonskog bre, panonskog! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Joker Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 A sto mi tako dusmanski upropasti fazon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukijan Mušicki Posted June 7, 2008 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 A sto mi tako dusmanski upropasti fazon pa zato sto sam dusman.. imam manu na dusi Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsun Posted June 8, 2008 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 An Arab at the airport: - Name? - Abdul al-Rhazib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no... I mean male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. - But isn't that hostile? - Horse style, doggy style, any style! - Oh dear! - No, no! Deer run too fast! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrija Smith Posted June 8, 2008 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukijan Mušicki Posted June 8, 2008 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 hahahha! koje ludilo! evo suze mi idu!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisus Posted June 8, 2008 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 Do jaja. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zagrivuk Posted June 8, 2008 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 An Arab at the airport: - Name? - Abdul al-Rhazib. - Sex? - Three to five times a week. - No, no... I mean male or female? - Male, female, sometimes camel. - Holy cow! - Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. - But isn't that hostile? - Horse style, doggy style, any style! - Oh dear! - No, no! Deer run too fast! Dobar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
feyd Posted June 9, 2008 Report post Posted June 9, 2008 A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?' The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?' The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.' The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.' After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.' The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.' The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?' The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit.' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
mara! Posted June 10, 2008 Report post Posted June 10, 2008 mrzim viceve o čaku norisu, naročito posrbljene, ali sam čula jedan prejak: Čak Noris je pobedio Deltu na tenderu. xD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vresište Posted June 10, 2008 Report post Posted June 10, 2008 Sigurno je bilo al ajde: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutak Posted June 10, 2008 Report post Posted June 10, 2008 A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?' The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?' The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.' The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.' After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.' The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.' The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?' The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me shit.' ahaha :) do ajja Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azaralena Posted June 11, 2008 Report post Posted June 11, 2008 Sigurno je bilo al ajde: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?" Bese li to onaj izabran za najbolji na svetu? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vresište Posted June 11, 2008 Report post Posted June 11, 2008 Bese li to onaj izabran za najbolji na svetu? Nisam ulazio u metode i uzorak na kome su to ispitali. Al' stvarno ima jak efekat kada ga slushash ne ochekujuchi nishta. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukijan Mušicki Posted June 11, 2008 Report post Posted June 11, 2008 hahaha! tek sad sam procitao tu pricu! koje ludilo! jooooj! koji crnjak! nenormalno! xD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
feyd Posted June 11, 2008 Report post Posted June 11, 2008 Mujin sendvič Pošao Mujo preko granice, pa poneo i slona. I u jedno i u drugo uvo mu nabio po jedan hleb. Stigao on tako na granicu i pita ga carinik da li ima nesto da prijavi. On, naravno, kaže da nema. Carinik otvara kamion i ugleda slona pa kaze: "Ti, bre, reče da nemaš sta da prijaviš. Šta će ovaj slon ovde? Mujo: "A šta tebe briga šta ću ja da stavim u sendvič?" Unprofor Gleda Mujo kako unproforac radi sklekove i gleda ga i gleda i nije mu jasno, pa mu kaže:"Jebeš mi mater jarane, ako ona tebi nije pobjegla!" Tukli se Crnogorac i Srbin. Pitali posle Crnogorca kako je prošao. - Ada kako bi proša'? Razdvojila nas policija. Njega odveli ka' pseto, vezanog, a mene ka' knjaza - na nosilima! Pile iCrv Sreli se pile i crv u Crnoj Gori, te crv rece piletu: "Dje si sokole,nijesam te vidio trista godina!" Na to ce pile: "A dje si ti zmijo ljuta!" Haso sedi u avionu kad mu pridje stjuardesa s ogromnim grudima: 'Gospodine, sta želite - čaj ili kafu?' 'A u kojoj je čaj?' Dolazi Mujo u ducan: 'Kilu limuna, molim vas.' 'Hocete vrećicu?' 'Jok, nego cu ih šutati do kuće.' Ulazi Mujo u dućan i obraca se prodavacici: 'Dajte mi jedan papir za stražnjicu.' Izvolite, ali ne kaže se 'za stražnjicu', nego toaletni papir.' 'Dobro, i dajte mi jedan sapun.' 'Toaletni?' 'Ma ne, za lice!' Fata u sudnici Da bi ustanovio tačne okolnosti pod kojima je izvršeno silovanje, pita sudija Fatu: "Recite, što vam je bilo najneugodnije u celom tom slučaju?" "Najneugodnije mi je bilo kada mi je dig'o noge pa mi je pesak iz čizama pao o oči." Amerikanac Rus i Albanac Bili na krstarenju Amerikanac, Rus i Albanac. No, brod zadesi strašna oluja i on potone, a trojica putnika isplivaju na neko ostrvo. No, bilo je to ostrvo Amazonki, koje su ih odmah zarobile. Prekrasna kraljica Amazonki tada im obrazloži situaciju: -Na nasem ostrvu smeju živeti samo ŽENE. Prema tome, možete birati: hoćete li da vas odmah ubijemo ili da vam odrežemo k....? Zgledaju se njih trojica, k.... je k...., ali život je život, pa uglas viknu: Režite! I tako kraljica Amazonki prvo odvede Amerikanca u šator za egzekuciju, začuje se njegov strašni urlik i on istrča držeći se za okrvavljeno medjunožje. Potom u šator odvedu Rusa. No, on je petnaest minuta urlao, dok se napokon nije pojavio držeci se za okrvavljeno medjunožje. Tada lepa Amazonka dodje po Albanca, a on je upita: -Čekaj malo, objasni mi kako to da je Amerikanac tako brzo bio gotov, a Rus je toliko dugo urlao? - Znaš, mi k.... uklanjamo prema zanimanjju. Amerikanac je bio mesar, pa smo mu ga, čak, odsekle satarom, a Rus je bio drvoseča, pa smo mu ga istrugale. Nato se Albanac počne oduševljeno smejati pa objasni: - E, lepa moja, ja sam poslastičar, meni će da ga ližeš dok se ne rastopi!!!!!!! Ljubavna šala Dolazi otac kući i zatiče svoju kćer sa vibratorom. Sa suzama u očima pita je šta radi, a ona odvrati: - Da se suočimo sa činjenicama: Imam 26 godina, ružna sam, debela i nezanimljiva. Bolje od ovoga ne mogu. Sutradan kćer dolazi s posla i zatiče svog oca kako sedi i gleda televiziju. U jednoj ruci pivo, u drugoj vibrator. - Sta to radiš tata? - Evo ništa, pijem pivo sa zetom. Mujo u bolnici Krenula Fata Muji u bolnicu, sela u taksi ali je u brzini zaboravila novčanik. Sva zbunjena zamoli taksistu da se vrati pošto nema para.Taksista kaže da to nije neki problem jer vožnju može platiti tako što će mu otpevati jednu pesmu ili mu "dati". Pošto je došla u bolnicu, ispriča Muji sta joj se desilo. Na to će Mujo: -Matere ti, koju si mu pesmu otpevala?-Pa zar ti misliš da je meni do pesme kada si mi ti u bolnici? Redaljka Krenuli Mujo i Haso kolima za Vakuf. Negdje usput zaustavi ih jedna stoperica.- Dokle ćeš ti, bona?- Do Vakufa.- A što ćeš nam dati ako te povezemo?- Imam lijepih jabuka.- Bil' ti Haso jabuka?- Ne bi'.- Neb' ni ja, onda ništa. Ne možemo te povesti. Poslije nekoliko kilometara zaustavi ih druga.- Dokle ćeš ti, bona?- Do Vakufa.- A što ćeš nam dati ako te povezemo?- Imam lijepih krušaka.- Bil' ti Haso krušaka?- Ne bi'.- Neb' ni ja, onda ništa. Ne možemo te povesti. Poslije par kilometara zaustavi ih treća.- Dokle ćeš sad ti, bona?- Do Vakufa.- A što ćeš nam dati ako te povezemo?- Može li redaljka?- Bil' ti Haso redaljku?- Ne bi'.- Neb' ni ja, e.. pa onda ništa. Ne možemo te povesti.Poslije izvjesnog vremena rece Mujo:- A znaš li ti Haso što je to redaljka?- Ne znam.- Ne znam ni ja, 'ajdemo se vratiti pa pitati.- 'Ajde.Vratiše se oni do one treće. Mujo stade i otvori prozor.- A reci ti nama bona, što ti je to redaljka.- To ti ja skinem gaće pa dam jednom, pa dam drugom.- Bil' ti Haso ženske gaće?- Ne bi'.- Neb' ni ja, jebi ga. Onda opet ništa. Ne možemo te povesti. Čokolada sa lješnjacima Doktor krene u vizitu po bolnici, te dodje do kreveta u kojem leži čovek, tek operisan, bez zuba. Gleda doktor u karton kad odjednom čovek progovori. "Doktove, hofete vi mavo ljefnjaka?" - pruzajući mu punu šaku očišćenih lešnika. Gleda doktor, oće uzeti, neće uzeti, pa se sažali na čoveka, uzme par lešnika i počne ih grickati. I tako, dok je čitao karton, malo po malo, pojede on čoveku sve lešnike, kao - šta će njemu kad nema zube, šteta je baciti. Pošto mu je bilo čudno da tip ima lešnike a nema zube, reče: "Oprostite, nije moje da se petljam, ali zašto ne kažete rodbini da vam donesu hranu koja je malo prilagodjenija vašem stanju - mislim, pa vi ipak nemate zube, a oni vam nose lešnike..." "Ma ne, doktove, oni meni donefu fokovadu fa ljefnjafima..." Crnogorac u autobusu Vozi se Crnogorac u autobusu ali je prevelika guzva pa vozac zamoli putnike da se malo pomere unazad.Crnogorac pogleda preko oka, ali pomeri se. Posle nekoliko sekundi vozač će opet: "Molim vas, samo malo nazad." Tek će Crnogorac: "Jeli avetinjo, jel sam ja dao pare da se vozim il da idem pjeske?" Utakmica Sreli se Mujo i Haso.- Jel' ba, Haso, jel' ideš na utakmicu?- A ko igra?- Srbija i Crna Gora i Bosna i Hercegovina.- Jebo te, pa to nije utakmica, to je turnir! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
LazaGNR Posted June 11, 2008 Report post Posted June 11, 2008 Vezano za to kol'ko Rusi drinkuju... Pise Amerikanac svoj dnevnik... "Juce sam pio sa Rusom! Samo sto nisam umro!" Sutradan opet pise... "Jebote,danas sam opet pio sa Rusom! Bolje da sam juce umro!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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