Kaze mali Suljo - ne volim tatu jer nikad nije kod kuce,ili radi,ili je u birtiji. Ne volim mamu, uvijek je po komsiluku,na pijaci,i na poslu. Pitaju ga : Pa koga volis? Reprezentaciju BIH Oni nigdje ne idu

Hteli se Englez, Francuz i Srbin zaposliti u CIA-i.

 

Prijave se na testove a oni ih tamo bace kroz najžešće testove: snalaženju u prirodi, glad, žeđ, borba prsa u prsa, čuvanje tajne, i na kraju kad su sva trojica prošli dolaze do finalnog testa. Dovedu im žene, stave ih u određene prostorije a njima daju pištolje i kažu im da ih ubiju.

 

Prvi Englez ulazi unutra, vadi pištolj, repetira, uperi ga u ženu, oće-neće, i kaže:

- Ma ne mogu. CIA je CIA al' žena je na prvom mestu.

 

Drugi ulazi Francuz, vadi pištolj, repetira i nišani, al' ni on ne može.

 

Ulazi Srbin unutra. Čuje se bam-bam-bam a posle toga lomljava, vika i posle pet minuta izlazi on sav krvav i kaže:

- Mamu im jebem, dali mi ćorke, pa sam morao da je dokrajčim stolicom!

Dode Mujo na kiosk i pita prodavacicu:

- Do you speak English?

Prodavacica :

- Ne

Mujo, razocaran, okrene se i ode ...

Dode on na drugi kiosk i opet pita:

- Do you speak English?

opet ista stvar - Ne...

I tako, ode na treci kiosk i opet pita:

- Do you speak English?

Prodavacica:

- Yes

Mujo sav srecan:

- Marlboro !

 

 

Sretne Mujo opaticu i zamoli je da mu pruzi veche zajdnickog uzitka, pa c ona njemu oshtro:

-Samo ako nisi ozenjen i nemas decu.

-Naravno da nemam ni jedno ni drugo!

 

Posle svrshetka, kazu oni jedno drugom:

-Ja imam decu,a zena me ceka kuci sa vecerom.

-Ja sam Milenko i kasnim na maskenbal!

Наравно, наш Патријарх се преселио у Рај, до самог Господа.

Сутрадан по доласку у Царство Небеско, за доручак – парче хлеба с пекмезом. Исто за ручак, па и за вечеру...

Обрати се наш Паја Богу са речима: „ Господе, не бих да изгледа да се нешто буним и да ми није право, али како то да овде код Тебе у Рајском Насељу.... хлеб с пекмезом за доручак, исто за ручак, па опет исто за вечеру...“?!?

„Ма мрзи ме, бре, да кувам само за нас двојицу“!!!!! – беше Створитељев недвосмислени одговор.

Šta rade pilići kad uđu u kafanu?

 

 

 

Piju piju piju piju...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

theflatearthsociety.org

 

Q: "What is the circumference and diameter of the Earth?"

 

Circumference: 78,225 miles

Diameter: 24,900 miles

 

In John Davis's model, the Earth is an infinite plane and is 9000 kilometers deep.

 

Q: "What about the stars, sun and moon and other planets? Are they flat too? What are they made of?"

 

A1: The sun and moon, each 32 miles in diameter, rotate at a height of 3000 miles above sea level. As they are spotlights, they only illuminate certain places. This explains why there are nights and days on Earth.

 

A2: In James McIntyre's model, the sun and the moon are metallic discs. These discs are being held above the Earth by photoelectric effect.

 

Q: "Why are other celestial bodies round but not the Earth?"

 

A: The Earth is not one of the other planets. The Earth is special and unlike the other bodies in numerous ways.

 

Q: "What's underneath the Earth?" aka "What's on the bottom?" aka "What's on the other side?"

 

A: This is unknown. Some believe it to be just rocks, while others believe the Earth rests on the back of four elephants and a turtle.

 

Q: "Why doesn't water run off the Earth?"

 

A1: In the general model, there is a vast ice wall that keeps the water where it is. The ice wall is roughly 150ft high. This also explains why you can find a vast plane of ice when you travel south. Antarctica as a continent does not exist.

 

A2: In James McIntyre's model, the height of the ice wall increases toward the edge. The ice wall holds the oceans in place.

 

Q: "NASA and other world space agencies have pictures of the Earth from space, and in those pictures the Earth is clearly a globe; in this day and age, hasn't it been proven beyond any doubt that the Earth is round?"

 

A: NASA and the rest of the world's space agencies who claim to have been to space are involved in a Conspiracy to keep the shape of the Earth hidden. The pictures are faked using simple imaging software.

 

Q: "Are you saying NASA had Photoshop in the 1960s?"

 

A: Of course not. Back then the pictures taken were of far lower quality and were likely produced using analog means.

 

Q: "How did NASA create these images with the computer technology available at the time?"

 

A: NASA did not send rockets into space; instead, they spent a fraction of their funding on developing increasingly advanced computers and imaging software to cover their lies.

 

Q: "If you're not sure about the motive, why do you say there is a conspiracy?"

 

A: Well it's quite simple really; if the Earth is in fact flat, then the space agencies must be lying when they say it isn't.

 

Vozi se Svabo sa svojom zonskom kroz Bosnu, vuce on gliser i krenuo na more.Objasnjava joj:

- Mala, ovdje zive neverovatno glupi ljudi, zovu ih Bosanci. Cudo jedno kakvi su glupani!

Nije proslo mnogo, na semaforu Mujo i Haso zaustavljaju Svabu i mole ga da im da vatre da upale cigarete. Kaze Svaba zenskoj:

- VIdi kako cu ih sasa za*ebati!

Uplai zmigavac i pokaza Muju da pripali. Pati se Mujo, ali ne uspijeva. Svabo odluci da mu pomogne pa upali duga svjetla. Pokusava i Haso, pate se dobrih 10 minuta, ali dzaba. Kada je Svabi dosadilo da zaje*ava Bosance, pokaza im da se maknu i nastavi put. Pohvali se curi:

- Aaa, sta sam ti rekao, kakvi su samo bolidi!

Mujo i Haso ostali na putu, gledaju za autom pa kad je odmako okrenu se nezad prema zbunu:

-Omere, je*em te smotana, pa koliko ti je trebalo da otkacis taj gliser???

 

 

Razgovaraju Ibro i Haso:

- "Bolan, Ibro, jesi li cuo da je Mujina Fata umrla od radijacije?"

- "Kako, bolan, od radijacije?"

- "Ubio je Mujo radijatorom."

 

Kaže zeka zmiji:

- Izvini što sam te zajebavao što nemaš noge...

- Ma nema veze, bilo pa prošlo.

- Dobro, evo ruka!

http://www.pomegranatephone.com/

obavezno pogledajte sve Explore opcije

Kako je tužno što tako nešto ne postoji :S

http://www.pomegranatephone.com/

obavezno pogledajte sve Explore opcije

 

Ne seriii da ima i brijac i usnu harmoniku O.o ... jbem ti, gde ovo ima da se kupi? Odma da stekam pare

 

EDIT: U jbt pravi i kafu?

 

EDIT2: Hahaha vidim da je ovo samo fora :/ Steta

Edited November 22, 200915 yr by ShInIgAmY91

zivo me je zanimalo kako ce onaj brijach shisti i gde stane 1.5 dl vode

 

dobar fazon reklame

http://www.myhumors99.com/2009/10/top-100-funniest-sport-photos.html

@svi u vezi Nar telefona: nadam se da ste videli na kraju za sta je reklama

inace navelo me je na pomisao zasto nikad ne vidjamo muskarce koji se briju dok idu negde mislim onim elektricnim na baterije. Ako vec kasnis...

Edited November 22, 200915 yr by MissionVao

 

http://www.myhumors99.com/2009/10/top-100-funniest-sport-photos.html

 

 

 

 

 

pogiboh..

Edited November 22, 200915 yr by april ethereal

Pa, bukvalno mu je i do miške. Yao Ming, bejbe, s njim nema zezanja.